Amon Padecain

Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline..
-If you are obessesive compulsive press 1 repeatedly
-If you are co-dependant ask someone to press 2 for you
-If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4 and 5
-If you are paranoid we know who you are and what you want..stay on the line and we'll trace your call
-If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership
-If you are schizophrenic listen carefully - a small voice will tell you which button to press
-And if you are depressive it doesnt matter which button you press, nobody will answer you