Official Monster Raving Loony Party [LOON1]

Policies

* To unite the population, we will surround the UK with a large cardboard box so people can be both in and/or out of the EU. This will be known as Schrodinger’s Brexit.

* We will place in law measures to stop panic buying as COVID19 restrictions take hold. Shoppers will only be permitted to buy one panic per person.

* To get more children reading, fish and chips will once again be wrapped in newspaper.

* In Government, we will complete a 5 year Parliament in only 4 years. This policy not only ensures a 20% saving for the public purse but also gives everyone in the UK a year off from listening to our politicians.

And from 1st January 2021, passports will be issued in the colour of political voting. Tories will be Blue, Labour will be Red, Greens will be green. Official Loonies will have leopard spots, and Lib Dem’s will be invisible.