The 'Bob' Dobbs approved Church of the Subgenius [ZEPTO]

ARE YOU ABNORMAL?

Then you are probably BETTER than most people!
IF you suspect that things are much worse than you ever suspected-

IF the only thing you’ve been able to laugh at for the last 5 years is the fact that NOTHING is funny anymore-

IF you sometimes want to collar people on the street and scream that you’re more different than they could possible *imagine*-

IF you see the whole universe as one vast morbid sense of sick humor-

IF the current “Age of Progress” seems more like the Dark Ages to you-

IF you are looking for an inherently contradictory religion that will condone megadegeneracy and yet tell you that you are “above” everyone else-

Then…
THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS

could save your sanity!

- Your secret wishes can be granted in full once you know what they are!

“You’ll PAY to know what you REALLY think. “-J.R. “Bob” Dobbs, 1961

NOW, AT LAST! The step-by-step process is revealed! THIS IS IT! – the only “faith” that promises ACTION- THRILLS- SUCCESS IN SEX AND BUSINESS!

Feeling like there’s just no SLACK?

You may have ‘snapped’ already from the information disease! (“The sleep of reason begets monsters.”) Look to the High Unpredictables of the Church of the SubGenius for pancultural deprogramming and resynchronization!

Perfect your subliminal vision edit your memory relive your reincarnality SYNC UP! THE SUBGENIUS MUST HAVE SLACK!

Using SubGenius secrets of BULLDADA and MOREALISM you can now MIRACULOUSLY ELIMINATE COMPULSIVE URGES such as smoking, eating, sleeping, working; end baldness, constipation, sex-money problems, assouliness, and painful shortage of SLACK!

Become a Doktor of the Forbidden Sciences… make religion a kick-ass adventure! Indulge in Self-Help through Raising Hell!

The SubGenius:
Patriot Personal Nerd
or Savior or
Alien? or Hero? False Prophet? Inspired Madman or Complete Jackass?

Thought you’d tried everything? YOU AIN’T SEEN NOTHIN’ YET! Learn to THINK BIG! Develop the tricks of Length Extension! Bring your weirdest dreams to rampaging LIFE!

Stand erect for you own abnormality. WISE UP! They’re out to get you.

The “different” are being silenced by a global conspiracy. WEIRDOS ARISE!! You probably already knew that the U.S. Government is a SHAM—something propped up there for you to blame. But did you know that the real “powers that be” are not even people? That they are actually shambling, unbelievable, unmentionable, unthinkable THINGS??

YES! JEHOVAH IS AN ALIEN AND STILL THREATENS THIS PLANET!

Defy the sinister “Star Forces” which mock us all. Evil demons have kept the truth from humanity for thousands of years – God has been misquoted all this time! His actual words may disturb you… but “Bob” Dobbs is a bulwark against the unbearable fear and anxiety tormenting mankind. “There’s no ‘Prob’…With “Bob”!”

“Bob” is a way of life to millions – yet half of them don’t even KNOW it! He is the one true LIVING SLACK MASTER with the spiritual know-how to help you BASH THROUGH the locked doorway to FINANCIAL HEAVEN. He is the only real Short-Cut to Slack.

You too can can be a part of this WAVE OF THE FUTURE!

Make strangeness work for YOU!

Thought you were ‘ordinary’? WRONG.

Tap your secret Abnormality Potential.

Take control through liberated weirdness.