Evil Pug Puppies of Doom [PUGPY]

Do you know what's more fearsome than a pug? Nothing, that's what. A pug is 6 lbs of pure ferocity. What the pug wants the pug takes. There's only one thing in the Multiverse that even stands a chance against a pug; do you know what that is? Another pug!
Pugs know every language ever created but there's one word that they don't understand, mercy. One time a pug sneazed, that's how the Universe was created. They say that the pug was bred by the Chinese but the truth is, the Chinese were bred by the pugs and that's not all!
Jesus and God tried to tag-team a pug in a wrestling match, the result: God had to rest on the seventh day, the Bible doesn't say anything about the pug resting. Pugs are also a master of disguise. One time a pug disguised himself as a human named Chuck Norris.
When a pug cries, a unicorn is born. Earthquakes are just the thrusts from that pug humping your old teddy bear.