T-T-S [T-T-S]

Original name: Tricia's Informative Trade Trust Investigation and Exploration Services. (T.I.T.T.I.E.S.)

Mainly engaged in scouting and exploring "Primarily Unusable Space and Subspace Yard" (P.U.S.S.Y.) areas for mining and drilling operation, we furthermore devote much of our time to the prevention of "degenerated intravert clustered kamikaze suspects" (d.i.c.k.s.) from invading p.u.s.s.y. territory.

Although formerly conventional methods like 'Secondary Linear Antimatter Pulse Strikes' (S.L.A.P.S.) seemed sufficient to repel d.i.c.k.s. from P.U.S.S.Y., we have recently commenced the use of 'Passively Locking / Unlocking Guard Systems' (P.L.U.G.S.) with quite some success.

Also, employment of 'Battery Operated Barriers' (B.O.Bs) appears to yield a certain saturation effect on P.U.S.S.Y., and the latter seems to attract less d.i.c.k.s. when B.O.Bs are being used on it.

Clearly, the combined use of B.O.Bs, P.L.U.G.S. and S.L.A.P.S. for defending P.U.S.S.Y. is the future, but synergetic or adverse effects of this are completely unresearched and cannot be entirely predicted in advance.

Hence, our main research efforts currently involve d.i.c.k.s. reaction when encountering B.O.Bs, P.L.U.G.S. or S.L.A.P.S. separately, and/or simultaneously.

Recently, Professional Employment of Recurrent Immediate Obstructive Deposits (P.E.R.I.O.D.) has been suggested, for its almost 100% chance to repel D.I.C.K.S. of all flavors.
This may sound like a major breakthrough to the casual observer, but -contrary claims notwithstanding- PERIOD can not be employed willingly. This is a major downside to its use, even as a deceptive strategy: D.I.C.K. actually falling for a fake PERIOD (except in unfamiliar / uncharted territories) is currently unheard of.


(P.S.: we do not accept membership applications.
"You don't find us, we find you !")
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