- Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra and after five days of excruciating pain... the cobra died.
- Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong phone.
- If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1
- When Chuck Norris swims in the ocean, the sharks are in a steel cage.
- Chuck Norris's calendar goes from March 31st to April 2. No one fools Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life.
- Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
- Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants today are known as giraffes.
- Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from
any1
- When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
- When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital
- Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded