Anduin Anstian

Rev. Anduin Anstian
Ordained Dudeist Priest at Dudeism, the Church of the Latter-Day Dude

Or if you’re into the whole brevity thing…

Rev. Anduin Anstian
Ordained Dudeist Priest

In the words of Our Great Holy Dude:
1. Thou shalt always use fresh creamer when preparing the sacramental beverage. To ensure its freshness, it must be sniffed and even sampled before purchase. If it is unclean, put it back.

2. Ideally half-and-half shall be used in preparing the sacramental beverage. Failing this, milk, and under the most dire of circumstances, non-dairy creamer.

3. Always write checks whenever possible, as your cash is limited and you never know when you might have to pay off roving bands of heathen Nihilists.

4. When confronted by vicious thugs demanding money, give them it. If you don't have it, employ humor to lighten the situation. Do not under any circumstances try to fight back by hurling a bowling ball at them.

Thus speaketh El Duderino