Inventor of the special screwdriver for operating left hand threaded screws.

Finder of the lost ark, but he lost it again.

Runner up in the 2-way deathmatch.

Expert installer of little white balls on non-pareil candies.

"Despite all the hassles and agravation, I still have a special place in my heart for those hardy souls that go down to the gas station and shove the tire pump hose up their ass to inflate their dicks. I tip my hat to them."