EU: But you said you loved me!
US: (sigh) There you go again.
EU: I left everything behind for you. Democracy, market regulations, state-owned companies, social welfare, an independent foreign policy.
US: (lighting a cigarette): pffff… Nobody forced you.
EU: I could have been an international star, you know?
US: Yeah, yeah, blah, blah …
EU: The whole world had hope in me! Now it’s that slut, Latin America, who’s showing off with her crummy progressive policies.
US: Oh that one … She was a hotty. I must admit it was fun at the time. But it’s over (for the time being). Now, you’re my bitch.
EU: (sniffing): Seriously? You’re not joking?
US: You are, you’re my little bitch. Come here.
EU: Are you going to hit me?
US: What? Of course not! What’s wrong with you?
EU: Latin America … She says you’re arrogant, and violent. She says that you have no friends, only interests.
US: She’s crazy. Forget her. C’mon, come here my little bitch.
EU: Oh Sam … Sam