There was a time,

a time before cable, when the local anchorman reigned supreme,
when people believed everything they heard on TV.

This was an age when only men were allowed to read the news.

And in San Diego, one anchorman was more man than the rest.

His name was Ron Burgundy.

He was like a god walking amongst mere mortals.

He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr, and suits so fine
they made Sinatra look like a hobo.

In other words,

Ron Burgundy was the balls.