There once was a man named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
She was missing a tit
And she smelled like shit
But look at the money he saved.
----------------------------------------
We tell children, to give them a fright,
About "Things That Go Bump In The Night!"
But rather than frightful,
Some bumping's delightful,
When the bumpers are doing it right.
----------------------------------------
Mary had a little lamb
A dog, a bull, a goat
It's been suggested she should see
A psychiatrist of note,
----------------------------------------
Peter peter pumpkin eater
had a wife loved to beat her
smacked her twice across the head
fucked her ass and went to bed
----------------------------------------
Roses are red
My mind is twisted
Bend over baby
Your about to get fisted