Pempster Rollard

~My Life~

Winner of the Sol Beauty Pagent in 2012 after being seen as an outsider.

Born on the wrong side of the galaxy Pempster "P-Man" Rollard always strived for greatness in everything. During childhood his brother, Radulph, pushed him into an inter-galactic bus, leaving him with the head trauma that is obvious to anyone who meets him. Despite this, he has developed immense knowledge of pointless subjects, around which he spends his life debating theories with his pet iguana Phil.

Those who seek audience with the P-Man need only ask, P-Man sees all gracious fans.

Notable life achievements include;

- Running the length of the HMS Chocolate Rocket backwards
- Eating three mouth wateringly tasty burgers using only his top jaw
- Building his own home out of tea bags, stolen from the local charity shop
- Unclogging the ships lavatory after "curry night"
- Crying so much after watching Titanic, it flooded the bridge of HMS Butthurt
- Fluent in Penguin
- Sex Pest