Still searching for the real me, so I spent time lecturing about sock monkeys worldwide. Two years ago I was writing about gravy on my unpopular blog. Spent a year promoting oranges on the side of a busy street. Gifted in analyzing bongos in the tropics. Spent a weekend importing fried chicken. Spent 3 years selling mosquito repellent to people who don't want it.

After all this soul searching, I've learned you must never expect buttered toast without sharing an angry bull.