Deljak Ambrusha

Hi, I’m Deljak Ambrusha, but really, how would you know? I could be Ted, a medical claims adjuster from Hoboken with a Barbie shoe fetish and an autographed shot of Andy Griffith in a thong hanging over my studio apartment shower.

Why are you even reading this? It’s just a bullshit bio. OK, here. “My family was sold to a Caldari noble, whose spouse took pity on me, taught me piloting, betrayed me and I killed their private guards and escaped, swearing to free my siblings one day.” But the truth? I’m here to be friends with you, ignore you, die at your hands or blow you out of the stars. You’re here to play Eve, mine, salvage and blow stuff up. Otherwise, go play Team Fortress or your PS2 antique.

Sweet Odin, are you still reading this? I just told you it’s crap and you’re eyes are still scraping this like a colon probe in a fecal sea. If you’ve come this far, send me ISK because you obviously have nothing better to do in Eve.