"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."
- Lily Tomlin

"Knives were invented because it was too hard to kill a person with your bare hands. Man then invented guns because we got too lazy to run up to our enemies to stab them. Then we invented bombs so that we could actually sit down comfortably while killing. ICBMs were the next logical step, since some people get airsick. If you ask me, the limitations of military technology have nothing to do with efficiency, but convenience."
-Tiro Yamazaki

"It is well that war is so terrible, or we should grow too fond of it."
- Robert E. Lee

"War is the most noble and honorable form of murder there is. And it pays better than serial killing, too."
- Ken "Snake" Yakata