Dwarf Ulf

Proud member of NTITM and FCON
a man who is capable of scoring zero at Asteroids!
btw to all enemies

this is your finger
and this is your pulse
far from the pulse, jammed straight up your ass
say, you want a chocolate cover'd pretzel

"I think it's only fair to warn you that this facility is surounded by a team of highly trained black op sniper's."
"I don't believe you."
"Would you believe two dozen Delta Force Commandos?"
"No."
"How about Chuck Norris with a BB gun?"



A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”