Frank Dux

Frank Dux....The man....The legend. Frank Dux was a well known marital artist in the late twentieth century. Trained by a real Japanese dude, Frank Dux quickly rose to the top as the worlds fastest and toughest gay French Ninja. Frank was portrayed by another gay Frenchman (that is... Jean-claude VanDamme) in the hit Hollywood movie "Bloodsport". The film quickly rose to the top of the box office, grossing over 5 Billion french rupies, and passing up Karate Kid part II as the best movie in friggen history. With the success of the movie, Frank had more flippen money than he knew what to do with and quickly became bored with his life. Frank had it all. In 1998 he purchased his first Enzo Ferarri. In 1999 he purchased the small and little known african nation of Kentucky, and in the year 2002 he was able to purchase the entire Rebublican party.
Frank came to realize that there was nothing in his time period that he couldn't own, so he paid television's Richard Dean Anderson (Macgyver) to build him a time machine. Macgyver (or Mr. Awsome as he likes to be called) was able to build Frank's time machine with little effort, using nothing more than an old record player, a flux capacitor that he bought at jiffy lube and of course....duck tape. The key ingredient to the time machine was a mysterious looking music record that he aquired on the set of Macgyver while filming the infamous lost episode number 32. The record was titled "Nash Darstar's Funky Beats". Frank was getting very anxious as Macgyver went over the operating instructions of the time machine, and was eager to hurry things up. Before Macgyver was even able to finish the instructions Frank flipped out and engaged the "ON" button with a 90 MPH triple slow motion round kick. There was a bright flash and both Frank and Macgyver were knocked unconscious. Frank awoke to find himself strapped to an operating table in a cold and strange looking room. Words on the ceiling above him read "Rifter Cargo Hold:." "Rifter?" he thougt to himself. "what the hell is a Rifter?" Frank heard footsteps approach him as he struggled to get free, but it was no use. Out of the darkness, a pale, and eerie manlike creature appeared. He had tatoos and piercings accross his face, and a short mohawk. The creature pointed to himself and said, "Me...Nash Darkstar....Me...Make you my slave..." Frank began to wimper like any gay ninja would, "why me?...what did I do..?"
The creature held up the broken peices of the mysterious record used in the time machine. Frank could still read the words, "Nash Darkstar's Funky Beats". The creature gurgled the last words that Frank's free mind would ever hear, "You break my record. Now I break you. Like I break your friend." Then the creature held up the bloody severed head of televisions Macgyver.....