Zarnewoop

Ahem.
Now, the pirates the brave Captain was looking for were the fierce Midget Pirates of Willygoat,
the deadliest pirates in the seven seas. And although they were wee men,
they had big swords and were known for gutting many, and leaving few alive.
The Captian knew they were heading towards the Sandwich Isles, to pillage the giant Ham Farm.
The Captain knew what he must do. And this, is his story.

It was horrible. They were everywhere. And unlike normal midgets who are usually bright.. and clever..
and.. fun to be around, these Midget Pirates with their beady little eyes and sharp teeth, bore down on us
like fierce sharks in a feeding frenzy of blood! Slashing at us with their swords! Gutting our bellies!
Poking our bums! Clipping our knees! We knew not what to do, for the Captain was nowhere to be found!