Gloating Chicken

My ships come with 5 unique safety features:.

Safety Feature #1: Child proof locks. Know how dangerous it is to open doors in space? I don't. I have child proof locks

Safety Feature #2: Welding fix at captian's chair. When this chair came loose, the ship was deemed horribly unsafe. When I welded it back together, it became safe again, therefore: safety feature. It's supersturdy now; I welded it to fuck and back. I painted the welded seat green because I was feeling creative and I don't have to explain my art to anyone.

Safety Feature #3: Bluer afterburners. Mine are modified with high-tech Windows95 Paint. Orginally they were the color #5858FA, but now they are #2E2EFE. That's a whole 3 shades darker than the human eye can differentiate. bluer = safer bro. Always.

Safety Feature #4: An awesome spoiler. I am listing this under Safety Features because I feel that a less-awesome spoiler would probably make the ship marginally less safe.

Safety Feature #5: Earthquake proof.