Dank Monkey

Dank Monkey is the creature that exists thanks to a few well-placed nudges to the gut of a pregnant baboon that was knocked up by a robot/primate hybrid. A large bong was the only thing nearby in which to catch the little abortion and his afterbirth from getting all over the floor. It was capsulized and ejected into space. An unsuspecting capsuleer happened upon the capsule drifting through the cosmos and broke it open. Dank Monkey sprang to life. He immediately ripped the face off of the unfortunate bastard and ate it. Then he went to a casino and drank the bar dry. He beat the house in a game of Russian roullette by mocking the other guy's courage until he agreed to take six consecutive turns. Dank Monkey left the casino in a drunken rage when the hotel roomservice refused to send a hooker to his room. He stole the most expensive ship he could find, which he totalled before he could navigate out of the hangar. So he jumped in the next closest ship, an Ibis, and got himself a hooker.