Riyker

A CNN reporter In Iraq asked a Marine sniper "what do you feel when you shoot terrorists?" The Marine just shrugged, "Recoil"


It all started one day when my parents were drunk and Dad attacked my nearly passed-out mom after she had finished her third glass of white zinfandel. From that auspicious debut, I began my life as a little bad-ass sperm attacking the ovum like it was day-old pizza. Spitting on all the other pansy sperm, I set up base camp on that egg and spent the next nine months like a goddamn king. I was in a warm haze the entire time, eating constantly, never worrying about blind dates, cheating girlfriends, or the female orgasm. In fact, it was so great there in the womb, when I finally got out, I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life trying to get right back in.