ProstetnicVogonJeltz

Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz is the captain of the lead ship in the Vogon Construction Fleet, and is quite fond of writing poetry.

Vogon Poetry is, of course, the third worst in the universe, and is quite torturous when forced to listen to it. Often, those who are unfortunate enough to be the audience for a reading of Jeltz's poetry do so in Vogon Poetry Appreciation Readiness Positions, which basically means that they are chained to something so that they cannot escape during the recital.

Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz does not take kindly to hitchhikers stowing away aboard his ship, and has no problem whatsoever with tossing them out the nearest airlock. After all, he didn't work his way up the ladder of success just to become a taxi service for a bunch of degenerate freeloaders.

Here's what to do if you want to get a lift from a Vogon: Forget it!!