- Things My Father Said -


"I wear a 9, but a 9 1/2 feels so good, I just buy a 10."

"Some people can't drive past their hood ornament."

"It's the sh!ts when it's thisaway, and it's thisaway now!"

"Poor people have poor ways."

"I feel more like I do now than I did before."

"Never miss a chance to take a real good sh!t."

"Here, eat this, it'll make yer sticker peck out."

"Tho' that in yer head." (Time to order another beer.)

"I'm full as a huntin' dog." (After a large, satisfying meal.)

"You went through that like sh!t through a tin horn."

"Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken."

"It looks like you ain't missed a meal since the last time I seen ya."

"Well, yer tougher than a wood haulers ass."

"Well, yer luckier than a two-peckered billy goat."

"I'm busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger with the crabs."

"Keep yer nose to the grindstone, and yer head out of the dope."

"You won't live to be grown, doin' it thataway."

"I got no more idea 'an a rabbit." (Uncertainty about the current situation.)

"Here, (as he grabs the tool from my hand) lemme show ya how to do that."

"Nowww yer showin' me sump'n." (On the rare occasion you used the tool correctly.)

"Well, yer the man with the fuzzy nuts." (When he was skeptical that your idea would work in your favor.)

"Don't believe anything ya hear, and only half of what ya see." (I heard this at least a thousand times over the last 50+ years. With social media, political narratives, and AI, it has never been more true than it is now.)



A work in progress.