Hairless Waffle

Our God is not a figure but merely an object. It communicated to us through a burning Waffle iron one cold day, it spoke of infinite knowledge and wisdom. It promises to bring us all a higher level of happiness for ourselves and our friends and family. To show your faith to the Waffle God it simply requests a small donation every 22 of November to ensure the entire world doesn't collapse on itself into a flat Waffle. It has spoken, now its your turn!
The 10 Wafflements:

1. thou shall follow in the footsteps of all Waffles

2. thou shalt not commit Wafflery unless holding a valid permit

3. thou without Waffles is without life

4. regular tributes of Waffles are required to stay alive in our world

5. thou shall not harm any Waffle or they shall be Waffled upon

6. committing adultery with another Waffle is punishable by death using molten Waffles

7. worshiping anything other then Waffles is punishable by death and this shall be a slow death in a Waffle sandwich with boiling syrup running down it.

8. confusing Waffles with pancakes is considered treason which results in a shoot on site order against you

9. unsuitable use of Waffles or stealing Waffles will result in a punishment of rape by Waffles

10. Waffles rulez lolololololol

Follow these and you shall prosper. May the waffle be with you