Ahegao-chan

"I'm NOT CRYING!" the miner screamed as a strangled, desperate sob escaped their blubbery lips. The floodgates opened, and a cacaphonic mishmash of vulgarity, violence, pained howling, and gibberish spewed from their milk guzzler accompanied by globs of sugary spittle.

The miner raged and furiously hammer-typed threats of rape, torture, and murder to the heroic protectors that held the thin, red line between a safe, peaceful New Eden and raw chaos. Unphased, albeit disgusted, the agents looked on. Having witnessed the same scene thousands of times, they immediately recognized the slushy melodrama for what it was: the hypocritical, impotent death throes of yet another rock thief.

"It's not fair..." the miner finally wailed, "It's not fair, my whole life has never been fair." Completely exhausted in their martyrdom, the miner fell forward onto their keyboard as a final whine left their feckless face hole.

"gfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgfgf......"

In an ironic twist of fate, the miner's plushy, twitching, now cooling cheek pressed into the keys of their final resting place, finally recognizing the authority and skill of Our Lady Aiko and her personally selected champions.