Lehm Ryss

!@#$

Woke up and suddenly I'm in space, as a pilot, unsure of where I'm going and what's next. At times, when I'm active, it feels like I'm not in control at all and someone is making all the decisions for me. In between those fleeting moments, it's as if I'm paralyzed for days on end, just sitting in this seat, always this damn seat.

Astoundingly, during those moments of immobilization, I'm capable of thought and constantly learning more, varaciously so in-fact, but it's automatic and without effort. Where does it come from? Is it reverse amnesia?

I don't know who to talk to, but more than that, I feel that even if I were going to try, I'd be unable to go through with it.

Is this what insanity feels like?

Is this what someone told me insanity even is?

Am I who I think I am?

Am I who I am told I am?

Who told me I am?

...I am?

Am I...?

What does it even mean to exist?

Can I even die?

Can I even?

Or is it, "may I even?"

!@#$