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The New Eden Testament
Genesis; The Great One

1. In the beginning, the Lord created New Eden, and he saw that it was good. But some people considered this a bad move, and after that, pretty much everything went to shit.
2. The Lord cast his eyes down upon New Eden, and was not pleased, and he wondered why it all went to shit.
3. And he saw, and beheld bot miners, carebears, pubbies, and trolls. And he was wroth, and spake, saying: "these denizens of my creation obsess over an idea called 'isk/hr,' disregarding all else. I need a steward for these masses." So the lord created The Great One.
4. And casting his eyes upon The Great One, he said, "herein is a man with which I am well pleased. For all his salt-mining, he is my servant, and shepherd for the clueless. These bot miners, carebears, pubbies, and trolls must have consequences for their blasphemous ways, and The Great One shall be rewarded by it. Now go forth, my child, and cause much shit amongst them."
5. And he saw The Great One go forth, and the lord saw it was good.
6. Then the lord declared, "Thou shalt be mine right hand, by which retribution shall be meted out. And lo, there shall be much wailing and gnashing of teeth as The Great One and his disciples shall layeth the smack-down unto the unbelievers."
7. "Suffer not a bot-miner to live!" spaketh the lord, and The Great One answered, "Thy will be done!"
8. Then the lord spoke with great authority and wisdom, "With thy inquisition, command thine disciples to either recruit, or lay waste to the carebears, pubbies, and trolls, for their repentance shall be their salvation, and only through the guidance of the lord's right hand, The Great One, shall they find salvation, and my vision of a perfect New Eden be met!"
9. So The Great One went forth with his host to do the lords work, and with one voice, his disciples said; "All must bend to the will of The Great One!" And so the lord witnessed, and was pleased.