Leonardo Vittore

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

i spilled Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

My neighbor has a circular driveway. He can't get out.

I bought some powdered water, but I didn't know what to add.

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there.

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time." So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it.

A critic is a legless man who teaches running.

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.