Steppin' on the stage like anchors up, wake 'em up
Raisin' up, Pirate flags, I'm about to shake 'em up
Smoke on the water, jumpin' overboard to avoid the slaughter
So I grabbed the senator's daughter, shouldn'ta brought her
Them trade routes gotta get taxed, it's simple facts
I relax, while the money just stacks
Just sharpenin' my sword, so if suckers come aboard
They'll be screamin' out prayers like they summonin' the Lord
Oh God, Oh Jesus, get sliced to pieces
I'm in the Caribbean, fuckin' whores on the beaches
Big titties bouncin', big booties, big rubies
Big diamonds in a chest, I'm fresh, I got groupies
From the Carolina coast to the whores in Tortuga
Who could stare into the fire and they'll tell you your future
I've been drinkin' way too much rum
Gettin' dumb, talkin' bitches into swallowing cum
Two pistols fully loaded, tucked inside of my belt
Study treasure maps all night, before the candles melt
Strike fear in their hearts when they see that flag flying
Grown men cryin', 'cause they know that everybody dyin' now
Cannonball-sized hole in the ship deck
The skipper got a slit neck and left with the ship wreck
I'm tryin' to trap the little mermaid in my fishnet
And no pun intended but, I make the bitch get wet
You wise-ass, shut your mouth and pass me the spyglass
Scannin' the horizon with a flipped up eyepatch
Screamin' from the crows nest to load up the cannons
But the ship was see-through and had a crew full of phantoms
So we hightailed it south to these Caribbean ports
Where we anchored off the shore of some heavily armed forts
In the pitch-black of night, nobody light up their torch
Undetected, rowin' oars, silently to the shores
Tossed over a rope, to cross over the moat
And snuck up behind a guard and slashed open his throat
Movin' shadow to shadow, with a sword; no gun
And watched thirty-five guards drop one by one
Before the sun was peakin' over the edge of the Earth
I beheaded some jerk, who leaked red on my shirt
Brought the bodies to the beach, dead get left in the surf
Now I'm the king and everything south of Heaven's my turf