Absolut Smirnoff

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It may look like I'm just sitting here doing nothing, but I'm really actively waiting for all my problems to go away.

I guess I really am an optimist. A paranoid optimist, true, but an optimist nonetheless.

I feel much better, now that I've given up hope.

I have abandoned my search for truth, and am now looking for a good fantasy.

I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent.

I simply hate, detest, loathe, despise, and abhor redundancy.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in our universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup.

Sarcast'IX > "I know those cruise missiles are only you, showing how much you love me.. "

Absolut Smirnoff > when aliens come to your garden mining, you pull out a big rifle, and ask questions later

Also:
Why me?
When is right?
And where are the Snowdens of yesteryear?