root68

- - Eve\xb4s Mental Help Hotline - -

If you are obsessive compulsive press 1 repeatedly
If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you
If you have multiple personalities press 345 and 6
If you are paranoid we know who you are and what you want stay on the line we trace your call
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership
If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press
If you are depressive it doesn't matter which number you press no one will answer you
If you are dyslexic press 898989
If you have a nervous disorder please fidget with the # key until the beep, after the beep wait for the beep
If you have a short time memory loss please try again later
If you have a low self esteem please hang up we to busy to talk with you