Fehnrail

IF YOU SEND ME ISK, YOU WILL GET NOTHING BACK.

Here is how it works:

0-10m ISK: you get nothing back.
10-50m ISK: you get nothing back.
50-100m ISK: you get nothing back.
100-500m ISK: you get nothing back.
500m-10b ISK: you get nothing back.
10b isk and more: you get an incredulous mail along the lines of "Dude, seriously, why?", but no ISK.

I GUARANTEE A 0% RETURN ON ANY INVESTMENT.

It may not be the best deal out there, but it's very honest and straightforward.

Also, if you attach a funny enough note to the transfer, I might just send it back, because what the hell. THIS IS NOT GUARANTEED. I may, after all, need a third Mach for something. Maybe put lasers on it and call it the Disco Boat. I don't know. Money makes you do stupid things.

So seriously, you probably shouldn't send me ISK, unless you have too much and want to send it to random people with snarky profiles, in which case sure, what the hell, I'm not your mother.