Splortched

Grew up the child of alien colonists on the planet Zergamarkurphoopenslooptf. Trained as a child towards a degree in planet husbandry, subsequently never having made it past the headmaster's tireless pilot program.

Joined the first shuttle to the other colony Reallyfarawayia on the planet of Zergamarkurphoopenslooptf, which just happend to be only a mile away. Once at the glorious new colony she tried to make a name for herself by selling collectable ashtrays. Customers found the ashtrays much more suitable as ninja stars which in turn resulted in the colony shell being cracked, killing everyone inside.

Once dead for a fortnight or so, colonist Splortched decided that she had enough with being dead and became undead through magic... WOOOOooooOOOoooOOO spooky. Once undead, Splortched decided that it was far time to see the nearby moon so with a thrust of her mighty buttocks launched herself the bazillion AU to said moon whereupon she collided at 27 AU p/s.

The end.