Quafe Zero Classic

Congratulations, capsuleer! You have acquired a batch of Quafe Zero, the performance drink with the powers of a booster! Enjoy the benefits of increased reflexes with none of the drawbacks!

Benefits:
+5% Speed, +5% Scan Resolution. Duration: 1 hour.

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As a capsuleer, you are immortal. You have all eternity to seize your destiny. Shouldn’t you have a soft drink that can perform as well as you? Quafe thinks so. That’s why we’ve developed Quafe Zero.

Using the latest in cutting edge biotechnology, our industry-leading scientists have reverse-engineered Quafe Zero from compounds found only in Sleeper vessels. Quafe Zero is fortified with a proprietary mix of performance enhancers, oxidizers, and natural fruit juices designed to push your abilities to the limit.

The secret is in our patented fulleroferrocene nanite delivery system, which attaches our exclusive pro-capsuleer formula directly to the neurons you want, not the ones you don’t. The result is an immediate and direct boost to your performance, with Zero drawbacks!

Quafe Zero is a product of the Quafe Company. Quafe does not condone the use of boosters or other illicit substances. The Quafe Company disavows responsibility for any side effects caused by consuming Sleeper technology.

Warning: Quafe Zero is designed for capsuleer use only. Side effects experienced by non-capsuleers include but are not limited to dizziness, blindness, nausea, internal hemorrhaging, IBS, sleepwalking, amnesia, sexual deviancy, vision changes, acute epidermal sloughing, partial or total loss of motor control, and minor skin rash.

Quafe Zero is manufactured in the Phoenix constellation.

Quafe Zero: Multiply your eternity by Zero!