Do you want to be short-lived cannon fodder? If not, do you want to hire some?

How about a career in actual suicide missions? Or are you interested in employees who will die (our guarantee!) before they can get paid?

Have you heard about the latest UEE employee safety standards? If you have, we’ll see you in court!

Do you have aspirations of personal glory or just perspirations of it? Are you in need of mooks who will take a bullet for you simply because they’re too fat not to?

Is the bank about to repossess your home, space ship, or small business? We got guys who will burn that shit down. We don’t even know their names.

Did you used to work a corner on Spider? Check out our openings under “Self-Motivated/Self-Starter with experience in territorial warfare (No less than 3 Life Sentences)”.

Are you in need of an on-the-go scrap team? We specialize in tearing down the ships as they flee at high speed.

Do you have a background in spatial aftermarket distribution? We have need of your services. Call Ronnie at 999-CAR-CHOP.

How about hiring an Idris for the afternoon in order to intimidate the competition? We do that too, but we can’t guarantee it’ll be there.

If you are interested in any of the above, then you have come to the right place.1

We are Kong Interstellar and we want your business!
No matter how badly you don’t want ours.

To contact us directly, please do not hesitate to reach us at:
steamcommunity.com/groups/KongInterstellar

Or if you’re in need of a more direct line:
Ventrilo: konginterstellar.typefrag.com
port: 13270

1 The information contained in this page is intended for educational purposes only. Kong Interstellar Security Solutions, LLC is not liable for any injury, dismemberment, chronic gluteal discomfort, mental impairment, and/or death caused by the misuse of information within this page. Consult your doctor to ensure you are healthy enough for information ingestion. Reading this page constitutes your unconditional acceptance of various undisclosed agreements with all associated terms, conditions, conclusions and opinions, either expressed or implied, as interpreted by the author without further clarification, subject to unilateral revision by the author in perpetuity.