"The Haggunenons of Vicissitus Three have the most impatient chromosomes of any life form in the Galaxy. Whereas most races are content to evolve slowly and carefully over thousands of generations, discarding a prehensile toe here, nervously hazarding another nostril there, the Haggunenons would do for Charles Darwin what a squadron of Arcturan stunt apples would have done for Sir Isaac Newton. Their genetic structure, based on the quadruple sterated octohelix, is so chronically unstable, that far from passing their basic shape onto their children, they will quite frequently evolve several times over lunch. But they do this with such reckless abandon that if, sitting at a table, they are unable to reach a coffee spoon, they are liable without a moment's consideration to mutate into something with far longer arms... but which is probably quite incapable of drinking the coffee.

This, not unnaturally, produces a terrible sense of personal insecurity, and a jealous resentment of all stable life forms, or 'filthy rotten stinking samelings' as they call them. They justify this by claiming that as they had personally experienced what it is like to be virtually everybody else they can think of, they are in a very good position to appreciate all their worst points.

This 'appreciation' is usally military in nature and is carried out with unmitigated savagery from the gunrooms of their horribly beweaponed Chameleoid Death Flotilla. Experience has shown that the most effective way of dealing with any Haggunenon you may meet is to run away, terribly fast."

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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy,
Primary Phase,
Fit the Sixth


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