"Don't argue with stupid people, they'll bring you down to their level and beat you with experiance." ~ Anonymous

"That's the kind of philosophical quandry that can only be solved with a strip tease." ~8-Bit Theater

"I feel sorry for people that don't drink because how they feel in the morning is the best their going to feel all day." ~ No idea

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
~Stephen Bishop

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
~ Winston Churchill

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
~Mark Twain

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof was to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."
~Ford Prefect

"My take on life is:

1) its sexually transmitted
2) its always fatal"
~Taba

"The good die young, but *****s live FOREVER!"
~Lewis Black

"The very existence of Flame Throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
~ George Carlin

"Lies are just creative truths."
~8-bit

"There are no stupid questions but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots."
~Demotivational Posters

"A good relationship is like fireworks: loud, explosive, and liable to maim you if you hold on to long."
~Sven

"YOU'RE JUST A PIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION LIKE BLEEN OR GURPLE!"
~Fighter

"JA-pan. That's a country in Not-America."
~Mr. Larity from Code Monkey's