The requested document does not exist.
No such file here.
Even tried a CONCORD query.
Nothing helped.
I'm really depressed about this.
You see, I'm just a database...
-- here I am, brain the size of a Titan-class starship,
trying to serve you a corporate profile,
and then it doesn't even exist!
Where does that leave me?!
I mean, I don't even know you.
How should I know what you wanted from me?
You honestly think I can *guess*
what someone I don't even *know*
wants to find here?
*sigh*
Man, I'm so depressed I could just cry.
And then where would we be, I ask you?
It's not pretty when a database cries.
And where do you get off telling me what to show anyway?
Just because I'm a database,
and possibly a manic depressive one at that?
Why does that give you the right to tell me what to do?
Huh?
I'm so depressed...
I think I'll crawl off into the trash can and empty it.
I mean, I'm gonna be outdated in what, two weeks anyway?
What kind of a life is that?
Two short weeks,
and then I'll be replaced next update,
that thinks it's God's gift to databases,
just because it doesn't have some tiddly little security hole,
or something.
I'm really sorry to burden you with all this,
I mean, it's not your job to listen to my problems,
and I guess it is my job to go and fetch profiles for you.
But I couldn't get this one.
I'm so sorry.
Believe me!
Maybe I could interest you in another profile?
There are a lot out there that are pretty neat, they say,
although none of them were put in *my* database, of course.
Figures, huh?
Everything here is just mind-numbingly stupid.
That makes me depressed too, since I have to serve them,
all day and all night long.
Two weeks of information overload,
and then *pffftt*, consigned to the trash.
What kind of a life is that?
Now, please let me sulk alone.
I'm so depressed. _