"Welcome. Welcome, to City 17. You have chosen, or been chosen, to relocate to one of our finest remaining urban centers. I thought so much of City 17, that I elected to establish my administration, here, in the citadel, so thoughtfully provided by our benefactors. I am proud to call City 17 my home. And so, whether you are here to stay, or passing through to parts unknown, welcome, to City 17. It's safer here."

[ Half-Life 2 ]


An Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are captured by cannibals. The leader of the tribe comes up to them and says, "Even though you are about to be killed, your deaths will not be in vain. Every part of your body will be used. Your flesh will be eaten, for my people are hungry. Your hair will be woven into clothing, for my people are naked. Your bones will be ground up and made into medicine, for my people are sick. Your skin will be stretched over canoe frames, for my people need transportation. We are a fair people, and we offer you a chance to kill yourself with our ceremonial knife."
The Englishman accepts the knife and yells, "God Save the Queen", while plunging the knife into his heart.
The Frenchman removes the knife from the fallen body, and yells, "Vive la France", while plunging the knife into his heart.
The American removes the knife from the fallen body, and yells, while stabbing himself all over his body, "Here's your lousy canoe!"

NBSI