What did one volcano say to the other volcano?
"Do you lava me like I lava you??"

Two guys walk into a bar, which is idiotic...you'd think the second guy would duck.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, why the long face?"

Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Can I get ya a drink?"
Descartes replies, "I think not" and promptly disappears.

The universe is not infinite.
If the universe were infinite, there would have been an infinite number of days before today, thus today never would have come.
Since today has come, we can ascertain that it is impossible to define the universe as infinite.
If the universe isn't infinite, it could end at any moment.
Your presense in it could end at any moment.
Your very existence is literally a mathematical improbability of epic proportions.
We might as well meet our doom with a defiant laugh, arm in arm, enjoying all that this life has to offer.
Eat, drink and be merry...