"Well, you bothered to click on my name, so I might as well tell you about myself. There's not much to tell, but if you're wondering why the gimmicky name, the only answer I can give is my mom was really lazy. I do enjoy blowing stuff up, however, so much so that I've been indicted for charges of arson and possession of illegal demolitions equipment several times. And yet, somehow, CONCORD thought it would be a good idea to give me neural access to millions of tons of spacecraft, all armed to the teeth with weaponry. Good going, CONCORD. Oh, and the Gurista's jacket was stolen off of a Rattlesnake-class battleship. Somehow I managed not to kill the commander, and in exchange for me not murdering him in an extremely painful way, he gave me his jacket. His pants, too. I guess desperate times call for desperate measures. I still killed him though, just not as brutally."

-Edgy 12-year-old me

"I'm obsessed with trashy memes."

-Me now