I'm extremely lonely.

I spent my childhood learning about computers and wizards, and love anything to do with either of those things. I'm an avid D&D player.

I'm here to find a lonely woman to be my soul mate. Don't be afraid if I tell you I love you on the first date. I'm very affectionate and like to touch.

I have never held hands with a girl before. I really would like to do that on our first date.

I want to always work part-time so that I can stay at home and take care of the kids you and I will have.

Okay, I'm going to be brutally honest here. I want someone who loves me for me. I'll understand if you think this is weird, but really, every guy does it and they just won't admit it. Here goes:

I have a masturbation chair, and an old t-shirt that I use both as a napkin and a semen receptacle. I have worn this shirt out multiple times when I go grocery shopping with mother. It has never been washed.