Some people think that parents with a sense of humor is a good thing. Well, let me tell you - it's actually a nightmare. My childhood was a living hell, but it prepared me well for State War Academy, which was like my childhood, but without parents making fun of my name. Also, I'm an alchoholic. So. right. Then I'd been waiting on a space station, and the lights blinked and sparkled in the air, and there were demons on the base, but I couldn't see them and wanted to go in space instead. So I got my plasma rifle, and it was the demons, and it was bad, man, really bad. Then I somehow turned out to be a zombie. But at least I'm not a demon. They freak me out, man.

...you aren't a demon, are you?