**** HAPPENS!

Taoism: **** happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "**** happens."
Buddhism: If **** happens, it isn't really ****.
Zen: What is the sound of **** happening?
Hinduism: This **** has happened before.
Islam: If **** happens, it is the will of Allah.
Catholicism: If **** happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let **** happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This **** was bound to happen.
Jehova's Witness: knock **** happens.
Trekism: to boldy **** where no-one has **** before.
Descartes - I **** there for I am
Feminism - Men are ****
Vegitarianism - if it happens to ****, don't eat it
QUAKERS - excrement happens (don't swear)
Einstein - **** is relative
Family Gathering - Relatives are ****
Politically Correct - internally processed nutirient-drained biological output happens
Shakespearean - to **** or not to ****, that is the question
New Age - Visualize **** happening
Satanism - sneppah tihs
Atheism: I don't believe this ****