The [Abridged] Rules of Acquisition:

Once you have their money, you never give it back.
Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
Keep your ears open.
Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
A deal is a deal.
A contract is a contract is a contract... But only among your corporation.
A Capsuleer without profit is no Capsuleer.
A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
Nothing is more important than your health... except for your money.
Never make fun of a Capsuleer's mother.
War is good for business.
Peace is good for business.
Expand or die.
The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
Good customers are as rare as Arkonor. Treasure them.
Free advice is seldom cheap.
The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
Knowledge equals profit.
Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of Isk.
Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
Nature decays, but Isk lasts forever.
Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
You can't make a deal if you're dead.
Hear all, trust nothing.
Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for Isk.
No good deed ever goes unpunished.
When no appropriate rule applies, make one up.