Spunknfunk Swollenbuff was born in a small mud hut village, and lived most of his early life eating dirt and staring at the Sun. At four years of age he became self aware. The years after were hard, and swollenbuff found himself more and more frustrated with his surroundings. By the age of ten he was lifting weights consistently, leading his friends to call him by his now adopted name "Swollenbuff." Soon thereafter he had achieved the strength of a bull, and a testosterone rage to match, and after 18 years of dirt consumption and cosmic retinal damage, Swollenbuff decided it was time for action.

So, he murdered the entirety of his village, and stowed away on a cargo vessel bound for the vicinity of that Sun with which he was so familiar. Since then he has been murdering, pillaging, and stealing his way up the ladder of social grace, to one day pilot a larger ship than his current, and to find that which he seeks most... the tastiest of dirt. Paydirt.