Born into poverty, Equiani turned to the porno industry at a young age, quickly becoming famous for his debut role as the well-hung janitor "Rocco" in "Class Jizzmissed."

Having discovered his talent, Equiani became the proteg\xe9 of porno legend Mr. Siffredi, quickly getting career-defining roles in classics such as "Anal Event Horizon" and "Locked and Lubed." Most notable was his role as "Captain Promiscuous" in "Distress Calls from the Rim," which earned him the Pounding Award for best actor. Critics stood in awe of the zero-gravity bukkake scene.

However, Equiani was forced to turn to internet pornography, as online piracy began to explode. The once glorious scene of pornography, with professionally executed productions and glamourous cocktail parties, was replaced with dilapidated basements and equally neglected sofas, countless Chevrolet vans and actresses with questionable hygiene.

Some say he now roams space, seeking revenge against the nerds that caused his misery.