There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable,
the insane, the vicious and the evil. All the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed....
My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone.
In fact I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape....but
even after admitting this there is no catharsis.
My punishment continues to elude me and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself.
No new knowledge can be extracted from my telling.
This confession has meant nothing.


"We have struggled through pain and grief; we have faced our torments with unbowed heads; we have lived as men. And in the end, what counts is not the years in our lives, but the unyielding life in our years."