SHIT HAPPENS!

Taoism: shit happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "shit happens."
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
Jehova's Witness: knock shit happens.
Trekism: to boldy shit where no-one has shit before.
Descartes - I shit there for I am
Feminism - Men are shit
Vegitarianism - if it happens to shit, don't eat it
QUAKERS - excrement happens (don't swear)
Einstein - shit is relative
Family Gathering - Relatives are shit
Politically Correct - internally processed nutirient-drained biological output happens
Shakespearean - to shit or not to shit, that is the question
New Age - Visualize shit happening
Satanism - sneppah tihs
Atheism: I don't believe this shit