Tuttebel — Prophet of Questionable Decisions
Certified Fair-Fight Avoidance Specialist

“Only a suicidal individual asks for a fair fight.”
I prefer mine heavily one-sided and already in motion.

Scripture of the Undock

Some pilots pray before battle.
I check if my guns are loaded and assume that’s close enough.

Born somewhere between a bad idea and a fleet invite, I have dedicated my career to the ancient Amarrian tradition of overwhelming confidence followed by immediate chaos. Faith guides the ship. Momentum handles the rest. Repair bills are a later problem.

Once believed combat would be honorable.
Now understand it is mostly warping to pings and asking “who tackled?” while already committing.

Field Observations

– The overview lies. My confidence does not.
– Fair fights are theoretical constructs.
– If it isn’t overheating, it isn’t trying.
– The best tank is being someone else.
– Amarrian gold shines brightest just before exploding.
– If local spikes, so does my blood pressure.
– Every engagement is winnable until proven otherwise by zKill.
– If it’s a trap, at least it’s content.
– Tactical withdrawal is just warp at zero with conviction.
– The FC is always right, especially when we are all very wrong together.

Battlefield Psalms

Blessed are the reckless, for they create content.
Blessed are the late broadcasts, for they teach acceptance.
Blessed are the overconfident, for they fill killboards with purpose.
Blessed are the survivors, for they get to post the BR.
Blessed are the wrecks, for they mark where we almost had it.

Combat Theology

I believe in escalation.
I believe in overheating.
I believe every bad decision becomes a good story within 24 hours.
I believe every fleet has one pilot out of position and it is statistically likely to be me.
I believe the only true sin is not taking the fight.